Dear Emailing 'Concerned Author with no name'
Thank you for taking the time to contact me, and point out what you consider are my shortcomings. I am pretty sure my height is one of them, the fact that I am human is another, and you have shared with me the other 98 in your email.
I appreciate the fact that you have spent several hours browsing my archives. I also appreciate that you have a special interest in my work, (are you an agent with a name?).
What I do not appreciate is this...NB: You are blue and I am red. Oh, and your errors are in bold.
...you let yourselff down. You say you are a writer and want to get published, (no I want to be published). I am sorry but you will not even make a back street paper. (NB: read my bio, I have gone beyond back street). You write interesting blog articles but please realize (see I am using the correct spelling), (noted) you are not at the level of a published novel author yet (really? Is that because I have not written one yet?)and will not be taken seriously. (It's because of the photograph on this on this post and others, isn't it? *Sigh*, dang I knew it was a mistake to share them) You cannot spell. If you do not take tiem out to learn skills that are needed to become a writer, then you will never make it in my world. (Mm, do I want to?) Blah blah blah End of email
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My response to your email is this...Go away, learn to spell and read my bio.
I AM ENGLISH, I WRITE IN UK ENGLISH...REALISE?
"YES" Two for speech is how I was taught, it is not a lapse of classroom study as you kindly point out in your supportive claptrap! It is a Brit thing!
My favourite published blog friends, especially those from the US, will in no way leave me because of the way I spall things wrongly. They are not as arrogant as you are, they are friends, they love me the way I am, mistakes and all.
The agents I seek out will know I am ready for publication; why? Because I will query them, my work will be as perfect as I can get it. I will write in English UK style, they will be able to see I can spell correctly because they will be UK Agents, (unless a genuine US one wants in on my work, then please contact me *grin*).
What gives you the right to email me with no name, and assume I am an American? You have not taken time to proofread your own email, you have insulted my intelligence and as soon as I know who you are...you will be named on my blog. Not a threat, a fact.
So my advice to you is this...stuff ...my overuse... of ellipses... where the sun doesn't shine, oh that is known as a bum by the way in English...it is my blog...I am not submitting my blog for publication...an agent realiSes...they are bloggy things...I love the fact they irritate your authory eyes...see I can even make up or change words or sentence patterns;Icanjoinwordstogtherandmakeareallylongone...Why? because I can.
Thank you for even considering me for your world, but I decline, with no apologies, no grace but with manners.
Much blogging love
From
Glynis who cannot abide annonymouse emalers who insult me with mistakes when telling me off for mine, which are not mistakes at all, just a difference across the pond.
PS: Boy do I feel better...
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Dear Friends of My Blog
Yes that was a real response to a real email, sent via this blog contact page.
I am 99% certain it is not from a follower here, nor from a regular commenter. I have a feeling it is someone playing games, or is jealous of the way I am growing. I do not care, they have not hurt me, just given me a great blog post to write!
From a negative comes a positive.
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46 Comments:
Oh my god! They didn't leave a return email address? Holy moly that's shocking! The fact that they did this anonymously too just proves that are not at all confident about their own opinions anyway. Crazy. What a wanker (or wankeress). LOLOLOLOL
Your response here was thrilling! I was cackling like an evil witch, getting a kick out of your payback as though it was my own revenge. LOVE IT!
Jessica, they left nothing, it was strange. I got a bounce back response when I sent a reply.
I could not believe it!
Lol, I think your description sums he/she up well!
At first I read it as they had intended, I had been out with a friend, and the wine had fuzzled my brain. When I read it properly, that was it, I saw red and had to respond. If I get any inkling of who it might be, they will regret sending it.
Glad you have the same humOUr as me,and I made you cackle with my response.
You have a great sense of humour! It's true that through the Internet we end up meeting ALL kinds of people. I think your accomplishments are wonderful, and if anyone takes the time to insult it's because they are either jealous, as you said, or feel the need to put someone else down for the sake of elevating their own botched ego. Keep blogging "à la Glynis" because that's what makes your blog and writing so unique.
I'll be more blunt - what a jerk! He feels so insecure about himself that he has to attack you to feel better. (And could be she - I have no idea.)
You keep your sassy picture up and keep writing in your English style, Glynis!
I don't find the sender's (couldn't make myself type author or writer) comments at all surprising just plain rude and unfounded. Ignorance is blissful!
I for one love your blog and find you refreshing.
You are on your way and that jerk is definitely not going anywhere.
Loved the pics!!
Oh my goodness. What an absolute troll. Fantastic response, and true - you keep going no matter what, and you WILL get there! Agents know quality when they see it.
Laura, thank you so much for your positive, generous comment.
'a la Glynis' it will always be, nothing can change me.
Thanks for visiting today, it means a lot.
Alex, DH said he thinks it is a male, but I am not so sure. Either way they are as you quite rightly state...a jerk.
My sassy pics are staying, thanks for the encouragement.
Take care and thanks for visiting today.
Maribeth, bless your heart. Thank you so much for your comment, it means an awful lot to me.
Thank you for taking time out and visiting today.
Ruthanne, a troll they are indeed. What a great description.
Thank you so much for taking time out,and visiting my blog.
Glynis, you had me laughing out loud this morning. You really should write humor, if you don't already. Whoever this is, s/he's a nincompoop with waaay too much time on his/her weaselly hands.
Helen
Straight From Hel
It takes a support system for me to put people like that into perspective. I say, give me honest critique that will help me improve, and learn what I DO NOT already know.
We love to read eachother's work, otherwise we wouldn't be here. Hopefully that person isn't anymore.
OOh, Helen don't you mean humOUr...LOL
I have never written humour, maybe I will try it, thanks for the compliment.
Thank you for supporting and commenting today.
Dianne, I have not lost a follower today, so I don't think they were one. I have had recent problems with a plagiarist,they are part of a team and I wonder if this is an email from one of them.
I will take good supportive critique of my work, as you say you do. I think this is the act of a pompous coward.
Thanks for taking time out to comment today.
I'm not a Brit, I'm Canadian and I was taught the British rules for spelling and punctuation. Huzzah for you! I write my blog posts using the spelling I was taught.
What a nasty little missive. I found it telling he/she hid behind the anonymous mask.
Someone with too much time on his hands.
Hey Glynis
RJ hee (I must really chane my name from 'Admin' on my google account, but it works so well for the blogs, lol...
What a prixe pr**k! However, as you so rightly point out, it has given you the opportunity to reply and vent your spleen. Very nicely done, too - not an expletive in sight! I don't think I would have been able to resist that.
So many unhappy trolls on the internet. Goodness knows what their parents must have done to them but there is a time that pity dries up. I suspect tho that this guy's penis is obviously way too teensy.
Innit.
Elspeth, thank you so much for visiting. Yes not a pleasant email, but I was not going to let them beat me down.
Anne, I agree. There are better ways to encourage a person than to insult them.
Thanks for visiting today.
RJ, admin looks so official, keep it. LOL
It is interesting that the majority of commenters and DH think it is a male. I must say, it comes across as an abrupt style of writing, no soft edges that a female might add.
Thanks for your comment and support, RJ.
PS: RJ, you just can't see the expletives, I used invisible letters, but they are there. LOL
*snorting*
I know this must have peeved you off something fierce, but I laughed through the entire thing... Great post!
Snort away Natalie. I can see the funny side of it all now.
I cannot believe the cheek of the 'person', I use the term lightly.
Thanks for visiting and leaving a comment.
Idleness is the devil's workshop.
If it makes you feel bettern, Glynis, I had a woman ask me to "fix" her manuscript. When I told her I didn't have time to take on projects like that, she warned that she would give a very negative review to a book I had coming out - then she did.
There was very little I could do even though I knew who she was.
There is definitely some jealousy in such acts. All you can do is focus on the positive and chalk this up to the fact that not all lunatics are in asylums.
Anne, that is dreadful. What a horrible thing for her to do!
The green eyed monster is not always behind bars, so true.
Thanks for your comment and support today.
You found me through Karen Gowen's blog, and I'm glad I found you because you look like a person who is very relaxed and enjoys life. And I need to learn to relax!!! I'm also impressed because you're a poet. The few poems I'm looked at impress me with your sharp eye and ability to rhyme. Rhyme is difficult. I do better with free verse. I won grand prize in 1988 before such contests became totally commercial. In the mail I actually got a check for $1,000!! Now that I'm writing about this, I think I'll post it on my web site, the story including the poem. I'm glad you're a follower. I want to follow you, too....Cyprus. Wow. That sounds so exotic. Hope you're having a great day.
Oh my, Glynis--this is much worse than the "spam" anonymous comments I get on my blog (some of the anon comments are legit)! And your response is great!
We have a saying here in Australia in response to people like that - but it's not appropriate for a public blog ;-).
My only anonymous comment so far has been someone kindly leaving a list of links that my bloggers and I can go to. It was really sweet because I had no idea where to find porn on my own.
At least there's more love out there in blogland than not :-)
Seriously????? What's up with that? I'm glad you didn't let it get to you.
It's amazing what some people will do. It is a shame.
Ann, thank you for visiting and following. Your comment is most welcome. You should most certainly blog about your win, well done!
I am free from stress now, I live in a beautiful area of rural Cyprus and I write. Bliss.
Hi Conda, yes the spammers are annoying but this one was an insult.
Thank you for visiting and commenting today.
Charmaine, how thoughtful of them. Yes I have a few names I could have used, but I chose not to rise to their level. :)
Thanks for making me smile and visiting today.
Susan, no I didn't. I was miffed at first, but then chose to share it. I cannot abide anon commenters who are spiteful.
Thanks for visiting me today, I appreciate it.
Loree, in a term, I was gobsmacked! Still it has shown me who my true blogging friends, and supporters are.
Thanks for dropping by today.
Good show! Isn't that something you wonderful Brits like to say? Anyway, I thought you handled this response rather well and I hope you never let anything like this upset you. I've always found you to be a wonderful person with a gift for writing. So keep doing what you're doing and hopefully idiots like this will lose the power cord to their computer.
Eric...What ho, jolly good show! LOL
Thank you for the compliment and support. I kept the British stiff upper lip.
LOL losing their power cord would be a wonderful punishment for this.
That's awful, especially sending an anonymous email. Like you I use the Queen's English and I have had comments saying that my English is bad and my spelling poor but not email rants!
It sounds like a male to me.
Hi,Lizzie. We do get the odd ball telling us off, but this was infuriating.
Thanks for visiting today.
I love dialogue like this between agents and aspiring authors. Classic material. Speaking of Brit humor, I have a link with Brit humor on my blog you might find quite funny. Have a great day. Love the glasses.
Stephen Tremp
Shame on the "Concerned Author." Whoever it is needs to get a life. You have the correct attitude, Glynis. I think you're awesome, and I'd love to be English. Well done!
Stephen, thanks for visiting. Brit humour is a little off the wall, but we do have one!
Roxy, thanks for the compliment, how lovely of you. Attitude and thick skin was needed for that idiot.
Thanks for visiting today.
How horrible! What an awful thing for someone to do. Despicable.
You know you've made the big time when you start receiving hate mail! :) Your response to him was hilarious!!! Excellent choice to recycle.
Thank you for contributing. :)
Thanks DL, it was such fun to fight back.
Thank YOU for the opportunity to share the post on your recycle post...post. ;)
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