Do you ever feel you are plodding in the wrong direction? I am sure you have done in the past. When I first started my novel, I felt that way at times. I recorded it in previous posts. Today, I felt I was still plodding, but making progress. I might actually be heading in the right direction, my goal.
I played around with the opening of Ripper, My Love, again. I am going with the advice of Emily Bryan with the opening lines. A few other lines have been jiggled and chapter one has been filed away. Chapter two and three are cowering in the corner. I will attack them again this week.
New Opening:
Kitty shivered from the chill of the night air, and as she did so, she lost her footing. She reached out to steady herself against the wall and giggled.
If anyone had seen me then they would have thought I had helped myself to the ale at Ma Parker's.
Rumours of a murdered woman had been confirmed by the local constabulary as fact. It was too close to home be ignored, and Kitty knew she had been silly to take the shortcut. She hurried along the alleyway, the clip of her heels echoed as she walked. Dark shadows danced around her. She would have preferred a live companion to escort her, not those who made her nervous. Every movement that flitted across the brickwork, made her glance over her shoulder, nervous adrenalin kept her moving forward.
The flicker of the gas lamps, added nothing to the ambiance of the route she had chosen. If told she was foolish and irresponsible, at that moment, she would have to agree. She was late home and Arthur would be annoyed, the alley was the quickest way across town. He hated it when she was late for reading lessons. He would sulk in only the way Arthur knew how. It irritated Kitty to think she would have to sit and watch him scowl, tonight of all nights. She was not in the mood to passify him.
11 Comments:
Sounds good! The next chapters should be very afraid.
The story sounds interesting! One thing to watch however is how your choice of language helps create tone. Using words like "silly" "danced" "flicker" "ambiance" give a lighter tone than I think this opening calls for.
So much better! It's really getting interesting.
It just keeps getting better. I like books about Ripper so can't wait for this.
Maribeth
Giggles and Guns
I really liked this a lot. And I'd like to read more. It's a good, solid opening that really pulled me in.
Well done, Glynis. I really like it :)
I like this, it's very ominous, I'm also really intrigued by the title. :-)
I am an addict to anything that has a forensic bent.
Well, I love the mixed views in the comments today. You are so supportive, thank you all.
KarenG, I will look into alternative words and have another play, thanks.
Alex, I have my whip out, they are very afraid...lol
Carmen, I am not sure it is going to be forensic based enough for you. I do hope you will enjoy it oneday though! *smile*
Charmaine, it was the title I had in my head for a year. I thought it was going to be a short story!
Wendy, Maribeth, SarahJayne and Joan, I love your enthusiasm. You keep me going, thanks.
I love the way you show REVISION - so many blogs talk about getting ideas or plotting, but I think the real work of writing is in the endless rewriting, the revision.
Nice changes!
Thanks Anne. It is a risk putting some of my work up here, but I do benefit from positive comments. It keeps me going. Plus advice, such as Karen has given me, is so valuable.
Thanks for your support today.
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