Agent Search and Wetting Myself

Just in case you missed the announcement, I have finished my first novel. Yes, Ripper, My Love is complete, edited and filed. It is waiting to be submitted to the big outside world. My quest is to find an agent who is interested in Historical Romance Thrillers. They are to be email friendly and not allergic to the smell of a new writer. You know the smell; sweat, tears, coffee and fear.

Well during my browsing time, I came across several. Without further ado let's get reading their submission rules.

1. Ooer, that link is dodgy, it goes to a blank page. If you can't maintain your website to promote yourself-no thanks.
2. Rule 175 - you lost me baby. I cannot work with a dick-tator and you come across as a big arrogant *bleep*. Not author friendly at all.
3. Yawn, your website is soooo boring and what do you look like?  I must see a smile or a picture, your eyes tell me a lot about you.
4. Set up last month? OK you might not be new to the business though, let's see your credentials. I said who can back you up? OK, who wrote the 150 books you represent?  Sorry can't see it -bye.
5. Really? You take that much away for commission? -Click
6. I need to pay how much upfront? Can I deduct the floor cleaner I have just had to buy? I wet myself laughing.
7. You need an emailed query, synopsis and the first 50 pages...say that again...yeah where's the catch? Nowhere? You are established: check. You have a lovely smile: check. You are not adverse to new smells: check. Your website is easy to read: check. Your colleagues all smile and have great client list: check.Winner! However, you are not accepting at this present time due to the vast amount of submissions - I AM NOT SURPRISED, just my luck.

As you can see some of those I have found are not worthy of a query letter from me. I am not a snob, nor do I think I am above agents (I want one), or clever because I have written a book. The reason they are not going to be approached by me is that I want to find an agent I can trust, (like number 7 on my list). To gain my trust it is up to them to be honest and upfront, approachable and professional. I want to be part of the team. I want to be taught by them how to work the book into the publishing world. If there is not a picture of the agent, or they want money from me before the journey begins, to me there is nothing to build upon. Some of the sites that claimed to be agents blah blah International, blah blah, made me laugh so much I needed to cross my legs.

One agent (7), has a lovely bright smile, all the history of their work is there for me to see. They are recommended by Preditors and Editors. There is a blog where I can find out a little of their personality to make me feel at ease. To me that is a professional. There are amazing agents out there, some of whose blogs I follow, (sadly I do not fall into their genre). They make an effort for their clients, who have made an effort to write the book that will earn them money, they deserve the queries.

We read over and over what agents want from the author and we are frantic to fulfill the order. What we must remember is we are in this too, we pay eventually and need to have good support, they have to fulfill our order, it is a partnership.

So I am off to browse some more, and if you are an agent representing my genre, have a lovely smile and great website...you have been warned. I am looking for you.

 

PS: