I love and adore writing my books. Every day I find a new idea, character name or place for them to live. For four years I have dedicated myself to writing and creating my novels. I have learned so much about the craft of writing and am grateful to those who have taught me. My Important Ones follow me and encourage me on a daily basis. My Beta♥Reader/mentor keeps me focused. I have a husband who cooks for me daily and I have all day to myself.
I am blessed but... I have a fear of being published.
I have accepted rejections with good grace and have never had one that made me cry. So why my fear?
I watch friends self publish or become published via a company and wish them only good things. I promote their books and rush off to buy their works of art. I am in awe of their skill. I know my work is not poor (it used to be, believe me, but am told it is of a higher standard now), but I do have this nagging feeling I am not good enough. Now this is not for a sympathy vote but just to explain why I am dithering with publishing.
I know at least 50% of those who are behind me in my projects will buy my book/s. It is not the money that drives me forward. It is purely one person - who I do not know - saying they read it and enjoyed it, that would rid me of the feeling of inadequacy. However, I have to overcome whatever fear it is that holds me back getting out there in the first place!
What is it?
Lack of knowledge on formatting and understanding the technology to create covers, layout pages etc.. Despite having all the templates and buttons I could possibly need I still cannot work these darn things out. I have friends who are willing to help, but I need to try for myself and until I do, I fear I will never be self-published. Without publishers and agents taking me on, again I fear I will never be published. See the circle turning?
I do not like negatives in my life so am on the campaign trail of turning it around to achieve my goals.
Ripper, My Love is in the hands of a publisher and I sit patiently waiting for news. Maggie's Child has had another set of eyes read through it and I got an extremely brilliant feedback from my new reader♥. I am now wondering whether to take courage and release it as my debut novel. A few weeks back I was so fired up about self-publishing and my aim for the New Year. Now I am just happy to get page breaks to stay in place!
Do you hold yourself back? What is your fear of being published?