I am blessed but... I have a fear of being published.
I have accepted rejections with good grace and have never had one that made me cry. So why my fear?
I watch friends self publish or become published via a company and wish them only good things. I promote their books and rush off to buy their works of art. I am in awe of their skill. I know my work is not poor (it used to be, believe me, but am told it is of a higher standard now), but I do have this nagging feeling I am not good enough. Now this is not for a sympathy vote but just to explain why I am dithering with publishing.
I know at least 50% of those who are behind me in my projects will buy my book/s. It is not the money that drives me forward. It is purely one person - who I do not know - saying they read it and enjoyed it, that would rid me of the feeling of inadequacy. However, I have to overcome whatever fear it is that holds me back getting out there in the first place!
What is it?
Lack of knowledge on formatting and understanding the technology to create covers, layout pages etc.. Despite having all the templates and buttons I could possibly need I still cannot work these darn things out. I have friends who are willing to help, but I need to try for myself and until I do, I fear I will never be self-published. Without publishers and agents taking me on, again I fear I will never be published. See the circle turning?
I do not like negatives in my life so am on the campaign trail of turning it around to achieve my goals.
Ripper, My Love is in the hands of a publisher and I sit patiently waiting for news. Maggie's Child has had another set of eyes read through it and I got an extremely brilliant feedback from my new reader♥. I am now wondering whether to take courage and release it as my debut novel. A few weeks back I was so fired up about self-publishing and my aim for the New Year. Now I am just happy to get page breaks to stay in place!
Do you hold yourself back? What is your fear of being published?
24 comments:
I've been wondering what happened to your self-publishing endeavor! Glynis, I think what is holding you back is the inevitable self-doubt. Seriously do not wait for that to go away. It never does. Despite the praise I've been getting, I still doubt myself. Every day. You have to learn to accept it. Know that it's always going to be looking over your shoulder, so find the days where you can comfortably tell it to f-off, and deliver your goods!
Wise words, Jessica. I feel as if I am about to enter senior school still wearing my 'ugly clothes'. I need to change my attitude and fast!
Hugs for pushing me onwards.x
Congratulations on your great sales achievements on your release this week.
Totally agree with Jessica. Self-doubt and fear are part of the package I think. I know they are for me. Hang in there, my friend, and keep moving forward!
I think that all of us have fear and self-doubt not matter what it is we're trying to achieve. It's only natural but it can hold us back, that's for sure. We just need to remember not to give in to it.
All writers have self-doubt!
And just because a publisher or agent is behind you doesn't mean it won't get a bad review, ya know?
Be proud of your gift, and be confident of those people helping you polish your book. :)
Hi Glynis, I totally understand your doubts but it's normal. In my 'real' work as a psychologist, I've met a lot of people who are more afraid of rejection than almost anything - but they are also terrified of success. Success means opening your work up to criticism, and learning to shrug it off. That's the real job of becoming a writer, not improving dialogue or characterisation. Let your own work build your belief in yourself, and if you love it, other people will. No book is universally loved, the important thing is if you love it, lots of other people will!
Glynis, I am not published yet and like you, I have fears. But I have read your work and I believe in you. I agree with Jessica - "Know that it's always going to be looking over your shoulder.." There will not be enough good words that will convince you that you are good. I've heard somewhere that 'people who are good at what they do are the ones who don't know they are good...' Hang in there! :)
Hi Glenys. We're all hearing you. Self doubt can stop us reaching out with our work. Congrats that you are now moving forward.
Denise
Perhaps it is also a fear of how they will do? They are your children (metaphorically speaking!). Yet they are 'finished', complete. It's time to let them make their way in the world! Don't worry though - children may sometimes disappoint but you will always love them!
Anyway, enough of the metaphor. I say go for it, Glynis!
Karen, that old self-doubt is a crafty fellow! Thanks for your encouragement.
Loree, you are so right. To give into it would be like failing.
Jennifer, I know the critics will be out there, I don't think they will hold me back, but something is. You are right to tell me to have faith in those who are helping me. It's that they say such lovely things I can't believe it!
Reb, I am not afraid of rejection, but I do wonder if I fear success in the way that it will all become too technical for me to handle. I do love my books more and more, and I do want to share them. Your words are wise.
Len, you made me cry with your words. You have helped me recently and have so much faith in my work, I cannot believe it. Hugsx
Denise, I am trying to move forward as best I can!
RJ, how true! They are my babies and I do not want to see them fail. I will always love them and should just let them fly. Wise words.
Thank you all so much for taking time to encourage and support me during my angst moments. I am on the edge of wanting to get out there and be part of the published world. I feel it is my time and just need to get over this hiccup. Your words in the comment box has helped more than you know. Thank you all. Hugs X
We all fear rejection and screwing things up beyond repair. But the only way you'll fail is if you don't do anything at all. And that's a far more frightening placeto exist...
ah - i believe alex has hit this one on the head.
keep forging ahead, glynis. everyone has fears, but always remember - you aren't letting it stop you from doing what you are passionate about.
So true, Alex! If I don't do anything about this, I will have let myself down.
Amanda, I will not let it stop me. I am certain at some point I will forge ahead.
Thank you both for your wise words.
Lovely G! You know there are people ready and waiting to help you, whatever way you choose to go. You don't need to do everything yourself. Stop the doubt and get on with it! :) *brandishes whip*
Oh Glynis, I envy you with such a wonderful husband and ALL day to yourself! But then again, I do love my daughter, so...
As you know I just self-published, one a story you read (I'm sorry for the few errors in it; I re-posted the corrected version on Smashwords, and also on Amazon, and I'm going to gift you a perfect copy of it, and also my new story I just published, as a big THANK YOU for your support. (If you like the stories, I'd love another review from you.)
I can understand your fears, and especially the fear of publishing it yourself. It has taken me HOURS/DAYS to format and get everything exactly in place. If I can help you in any way, let me know. (I just don't know how to use PhotoShop to do the covers so I have a young friend to do them for me.)
My greatest fear of self-publishing is the promotion. You just have to grit your teeth, not be shy, and get yourself out there. I have always been shy, and this is scariest for me. But...
Have a great Sunday!
Ann Best, Memoir Author
I haven't reached the point of querying yet, but I understand your fear. There are so many things to consider where self-publishing is concerned, and then there's that ever persistent voice in the back of your mind when you do query to agents or publishing houses: "You'll never be good enough," it says. I wish you the best of luck with your writing, and I would be one of those lucky people to buy your book=)
PS- I gave you an award=)
There is always a hesitation to become even a bit of a public figure. Do you belong to a writing group? I highly recommend http://accentuatewriters.com - you can say I invited you if you want to stop by. It's a really supportive group (with only a small spat from time to time), with a huge range of genres and outlooks. But we do a lot of helping each other hone work and queries and etc....
Talli, I know you are there behind me but often feel guilty asking as I know you are so busy. However, I do feel I am at the point of approaching you and Jessica. ♥x
I know, I am so lucky with my life, Ann. Thank you for your generous offer. Hugs.x
Kathleen, thank you so much for your encouragement and support! x
Joan, we do not have a writing group nearby. Thank you for mentioning accentuatewriters.com, I will take a look. Courage is the key. Thank you for your support.:)
I can so empathise. I just don't want to be mediocre, so I share your fear.
Good luck in feeling the fear and doing it anyway (Susan Jeffers) x
I think we all get these sort of feelings, Glynis. It's a challenge getting past self-doubt, and other obstacles, but it's pretty clear that you've got a lot of supporters in your corner. You'll get there. Just keep thinking long term.
Good job! There’s no doubt that raising kids, working a day job and dealing with our lives and health and family are all real and important things that can get in the way. But in the end, I believe it is mostly fear that holds us back from pursuing our dreams. :)
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